A Request…

Hellooooo everyone..

So this is not my usual kinda post. Before telling more, a little something about my place. As most of you already know I am an Indian. I am actually from south India, to be exact our state is Kerala, which is otherwise known as God’s own country. So why Iam telling you about Kerala right now is we are going through a flood right now. It has been raining nonstop and some places are already under water and as of today, 28 people have lost their lives and so many have gone missing. Last year also we lost hundreds of lives like this. And according to weather forecast, heavy rain is going to continue throughout Kerala until tuesday. The least you can do is to pray for those who suffer. So Iam requesting everyone here.. please include us in your prayers. May God bless us all..

Into Infinity…

It was a friday night. I was having a restless sleep when I woke up to some kind of noise. When I looked up, I saw him standing there at the foot of my bed. He stood there watching me expectantly like waiting for me to make first move. I looked at him with infinite love… Infinite longing… Finally I couldn’t take it any longer.. I sat up and asked, “you..? Are you really here… ? Am I dreaming…?” He came closer to me and sat near me and told, “No sweetheart.. Iam here… See….” By saying that he pulled my hand into his hands and I realised he was as real as me. I asked again, “But…. But You left me….” He replied, “Silly girl..!!! Do you really think I can leave you..? Dont you know I love you too much to leave you..?” With that he pulled me closer to him and kissed my lips. His lips were soft yet firm. And I melted in his arms right there. With a smile, I opened my eyes and I was bewildered by not seeing him in front of me. I looked around in shock wondering where he went in a span of seconds. I couldn’t find him anywhere. Then, with a shock came crashing realisation… There, I died again….

My thoughts..

There are times when I feel like Iam stuck in a void..

At times I feel like I wont be able to get out of this dark void ever in my life..

At times I feel like I will be lost in the void without any hope for a ray of sunshine…

Only darkness everywhere…

Fear, terror, hopelessness and despair my only companions…

I go on this way for a few days without any touch of love, without the light of hope…

Then, suddenly one day when I wake up I decide I dont want to live this way anymore…

Like a Phoenix rising out of ashes, I too get up out of my burnt remains..

And I start living.. Start hoping for sunshine.. Start waiting for love that’s yet out of reach..

But I decide I will live as long as it takes to achieve my dreams..

I will live until Iam at the zenith of abundance…

I will live until I feel happy and safe…

And that’s the promise I keep making everyday to myself…

I will live… I will live… I will live… And that’s what it matters…

Soulless

The girl who loved butterflies and rainbow

Met a man who she nicknamed as shadow

His words were sweet, his touch so tender

Straight away she fell for him harder

The shadow tried warning her off

But nothing could let her off

The key to his soul was locked inside a fortress

Where no one can ever have access

Seeking the key by which her beloved’s soul can be freed

She walked miles and miles sparing no time for rest and food

She walked through day and night, through sun and rain

Only the thoughts of her beloved were keeping her sane

Her only goal was her beloved’s survival

At last she saw the gate, waiting for her arrival

She tried the gate only to be pushed out by the keeper

She sneaked by the fence and fell out in to the creeper

She managed to pass when keeper was asleep

And stood surprised in a maze that was so deep

She fought with monsters, she slayed the dragons

She went through the fire that can purify the pagans

Reaching the last door, she pushed it open

And saw the box for which she was driven

She prayed and reached with hands that were shaking

Opened the box and stood as if it was bewitching

There was no key, there was no note

The box she thought as priceless was getting deplete

With pain that was so raw, she realized the truth

Her body battered, her heart broken, she fell to the south

And there he appeared with a frown on his face

Soulless as he was, she can no longer embrace

Keeping him as her last sight, she closed her eyes

Gifting him her soul that he can keep as his always.

A small love story..

After a sleeplees night, I was sitting and reading newspaper. that was when i saw him for the first time. He was walking across my yard very casually and then he noticed me sitting and did a double take. And he stopped walking and stood there as if mesmerised. And when he noticed me watching him, he looked like he was ashamed i caught up him staring at me. So i pretended like iam still reading all the whille keeping him in perfect viewing distance.  And he stood there for some time debating what to do all the while without taking his eyes off me. Then as if coming to a decision, he started strolling towards me. I must say he is the most beautiful creature i have ever seen. His eyes were green, calm and intelligent. Walking slowly and gracefully, he reached me and he gazed up at me waiting for me to say something. I too didnt say anything. We stayed that way for some time. Then he lay down near my feet, licked my feet and murmured “meow”…. And I took him in my lap and told “I love you too…”

Letting Go..

The songs you sang are etched deep in my heart

The link still remains though we are miles apart

Hope to hold on to, love unconditional, sustenance to move on

A few are those golden moments that lets me go on

All I see of you when I peek inside is a phantom

Yet I wish to move my dream and actuality in tandem

From time to time, I wonder if I am living in a fool’s paradise

Yet, Love so glorious, I have no words to emphasise

Can you hear how my heart screams at you not to leave?

Betrayer, my heart, I can no longer believe

Loss so deep and profound, my soul may never recover

Pain and grief so pure and raw I dont ever want you to discover

Deep down I known even by letting you go, I am winning

For your joy and peace is all I am now needing

So I will cloak my pain by a smile on my lips

and will bid you adieu with a kiss on your lips

As for me, I will wait, if you ever choose to return

My songs unsung, my life half done, my heart broken

I WILL BE BACK..

I was so lost in my thoughts when I heard my cousin squealing. Oh, I guess we finally reached the place. My cousins were in a holiday mood and inspite of the somber thoughts I had been going through I had to smile and laugh whenever felt appropriate. Our destination was “Thanal” an orphanage cum old age home. The place was huge with hundreds of residents. From 2 year old to 90 year old females, some of them mentally challenged, some of them bed ridden, some of them normal like the people around us. Those kids who have no idea what a parent means, those mothers whose kids left them coz taking care of an old mother is a huge burden for them. So many faces, so much pain… They say we don’t really miss what we haven’t experienced yet.  Smiling and talking with the kids there, I prayed it were true. It was while walking through the corridor along with my aunt, I heard a screaming. It was coming from the room we just passed by. We went to check on it and found an old woman lying in a bed. The volunteer told it was she who was screaming.  She was bedridden and when I went near her bed, the volunteer told me not to go near her since she has strange mood swings and there’s a high chance she might hurt me. I was unable to ignore the grief  that was etched on her face so I sat near her. As soon as I sat there,  she suddenly clasped my hand and started kissing my hand all the while crying. I was so shocked and emotionally charged I didn’t know what to do. I just sat there holding her hand and after a few minutes, a volunteer came and forced that mother to let go of my hand. But she wouldn’t hear her, and finally she told her, ‘this is not your daughter, let go of her hand ‘ hearing that she stared at me for a long time and finally asked ‘you are not my daughter?’ The tears were threatening to fall from my eyes. I kissed her hand and smiled at her with tears in my eyes. She let go of my hand and closed her eyes saying she doesn’t want to see me going. I forced my legs to walk out of there. We were about to head back to our car when I saw the last old woman who was looking at me and smiling. I went to her and found out she was a teacher, her son left her here. I hugged her without thinking what I was doing and whispered in her ears to hang on. Looking at her tears, I promised myself silently I will come back here. My cousins were laughing at me for being so sentimental and crying like a baby. But I didn’t care. I had only one thought in my mind. I will come back again when I can. And I will do whatever I can to help them out. Repeating that promise to myself, I walked out of there… I will be back…

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